Vanilla Pudding For My Soul

Sightings at the Mall

2010-09-14T16:09:00.000-07:00

I went to the mall today to get the little one new sneaks. Who knew his feet had grown a size and a half over the summer?! I feel very guilty for stuffing his feet into the shoes I was putting him in lately...

Anyway, my mom, little T and I were eating our lunch in the food court, and there was some serioius people watching going on. Interesting lunch crowd. I forgot that today was election day, which meant schools were closed.

Anyway, the best thing I saw by far was the skater kid in the pizza line with his back to me. His shirt read, "I enjoy a good dump." I don't know what the double entendre is, but I don't really care. That shi(r)t was awesome.

The end.

HMPH

2010-09-13T13:43:00.001-07:00

Okay, I am just a bit peeved right now. Let me explain.

Follow me if you will all the back to 1993. I was a junior in high school, and I was pretty happy with life as I knew it. However, I harbored a dream. It wasn't a secret dream, mind you. Most of my friends (I think) knew about my aspirations to be, as I put it, "just like Oprah."

And so, I wrote her a letter. I poured my heart out to her, told her all about how I wanted to be just like her, and wasn't it so ironic that I happen to live in the area where she worked just prior to making it big in Chicago? I even threw in the fact that I used to watch her on "People Are Talking" with Richard Sher all the time, and that I just knew meeting her and shadowing her for a day to see how she did what she did would be kismet.

Never heard from the bitch.

However, imagine my surprise when I turned on the TV one afternoon after school to watch my beloved Oprah, only to find that she had some nine-year-old on, who had written her a letter, telling her that she wanted to be a talk show host...

I was irate!!!

Obviously I've never forgotten this, and there is a part of me that hasn't gotten over it. Let's fast forward to today, September 12, 2010.

I'm watching the season premiere of the final season of the Oprah show. I knew she'd be pulling out all the stops. John Travolta escorting her out to greet the audience, Don Johnson presenting her with the rhinestone glasses she sent to him back in 1986, blah, blah, blah. What I didn't bank on, however, was that Oprah would try to find the little nine-year-old who dreamed of being a talk show host...Well, she did.

And that little snot-nosed brat turned into a 26-year-old teacher from New Jersey. A noble profession, of course. Well, what does Oprah do but surprise this woman in the middle of her teaching day to tell her to get her ass outside to a car that's waiting for her to take her to the airport for a flight to Chicago to attend the season premiere.

How nice.

And what did Oprah just surprise her studio audience with? That'd be a trip to Australia. With John Travolta as pilot.

So this little bitch gets to go to Australia with Oprah. And I'm watching at home. And Christ, now Paul Simon has surprised the audience with a serenade.

Where did I go wrong?

So It Seems...

2010-01-11T13:12:00.001-08:00

...that things will be changing for me in the very near future. It's scary, to be sure. But it's also inevitable. So I might as well go along for the ride, right?

My career path as I know it could be shifting. For now, I'm trying to weigh all of my options. It's tough out there, but I know in my heart of hearts that things are meant to be. Whatever happens happens, right?

Well...it's a little tricky. It's unsettling when you're responsible for the well-being of someone other than yourself. So to say "whatever will be, will be" is easy, but to believe it, well, that's easier said than done.

So to begin, I have to set some goals that will see me through to this new, scary, exciting phase of my career. What is it that I want to get out of it? I feel that I may have pigeonholed myself for far too long in an industry that, while sustaining, may limit me to those hiring for a more broadly-experienced person. So do I try to stay the course with my current industry? Do I settle for something less so that I can broaden my experience? Do I strike out on my own? Do I, do I, do I...

This is vague, I know. Once things are a bit more concrete, I think I'm going to blog about my adventures in trying to carve out a new career path for myself. I know a little of this and a little of that, so it should be an interesting trip...

Blasts From the Past

2009-10-23T11:31:00.002-07:00

Sometimes people blast random music here in my office. Today I heard two gems:

Regulate by Warren G
The Choice is Yours by Black Sheep

This really takes me back to high school. It feels like high school was yesterday. However, I know that isn't true because my 15 year reunion is this year.

How is it that I graduated from high school 15 years ago? It only sounds like it's a lot of time. But truthfully, it went by in a blink.

Between college, marriages, kids, divorces and deaths, so much has happened. But when I think about high school, I can remember so many things as if they happened in the recent past. We all go our separate ways, but for so many of us, if we were to get together now, I feel like it would feel as if no time has actually passed.

At least, that's what I hope when I go to my reunion this year. Because we all went through too much together to have it just fall by the wayside. Sure, we all have our lives now, but it's nice to know that there are people out there who knew you THEN. It's comforting.

Hopefully someone who knew me then will hold back my hair so I can puke if I drink too much at the reunion.

Update

2009-10-23T11:31:00.001-07:00

We got the costume. Stay tuned for pictures!!!

If You Were Us..

2009-10-14T14:27:00.000-07:00

The little man will be 18 months old when Halloween rolls around. I say we get him a cute costume, even though he won't be trick-or-treating. Said cute costume would make him a boxer...How freaking cute is that?!?

The husband's point of view is that since he won't be trick-or-treating, why would we get him a pricey costume...we could be using that money to buy him educational toys.

But I want pictures of my little cutie dressed up for Halloween!

It's quite a pickle.

It's Tuesday? Already??

2009-09-15T13:45:00.000-07:00

I was in a loooong meeting earlier today and we were contemplating what our next steps are to be on a certain project. We discussed getting together later this week for a follow-up meeting and I couldn't for the life of me understand why no one was suggesting that we regroup on Wednesday. When I finally brought it up, everyone said, "Wednesday is TOMORROW."

Oops. My bad. I thought it was still Monday. Depressing? Maybe.

Kind of a Weird Day

2009-09-14T13:09:00.000-07:00

It's Monday, which automatically puts me in a bad mood. But the situation got a bit worse later this morning. We have a 10-story garage attached to our 12-story building here at work. And sometime this morning, an older woman drove up to the top of the garage, where no other cars were parked, locked her car, and proceeded to jump off the building.

No one from my office actually saw her jump, which is pretty crazy considering several of my coworkers were in a meeting in a conference room that overlooks the top of the garage where the woman parked. Still, no one saw her jump, but one coworker did see her body on the ground below before it was covered with a white sheet.

When I finally went over to look out the window onto the scene below, I was shocked. I could plainly make out the body under that white sheet. A hand was sticking partially out. But the strangest part was that the woman's purse lay next to her, its strap broken. I'm not sure how that happened.

But it made me wonder why the woman would take her purse with her when she jumped. And what would make her do that in the first place? To jump off the roof of a parking garage in the middle of a tourist trap...granted the side of the garage she chose to jump from faces an alleyway and isn't in the middle of the busy street.

In any event, we don't know much more about what happened, and I don't know that we ever will. It's unsettling. What would make this woman do such a thing? It seems like she did so calmly, as if it were part of an everyday routine. I can't stop thinking about this, and I can't shake the weird-icky feeling I've had all day since.

Dear Yo Gabba Gabba,

2009-09-09T14:30:00.000-07:00

Thank you for being like crack to my son. I mean this in a good way.

I can't explain it, but something about the show Yo Gabba Gabba can captivate Tucker like nothing else. I've tried other shows, and he'll watch for a few minutes. But he won't sit right in front of the TV mesmerized with other shows like Jack's Big Music Show the way he is with Yo Gabba Gabba.

I find myself singing the show's songs throughout the day at work. "Please don't throw things at friends, please don't throw things at friends," or "Shake shake shake shake it off! When you get hurt you have to shake it off!" It's amazing how catchy the songs are. Tucker has even started singing to them. It's hilarious - he just sings gibberish in this falsetto-ish voice along with some of his favorites. I think he's a little shy about it because I can't get him to do it all the time.

My only complaint with the show is that it's on at such weird times. Granted, I have no clue what time it's on during the day since I'm at work, but why why why does it have to be on at 10:30 at night?? And I'm totally grateful that it's on On Demand, but why why why are there only four selections available at any given time? We can watch four episodes in an evening...and then watch them all over again the next day! No wonder I know all the songs by heart.

All I know is, a kids' show that features bands like The Shins, celebrities like Jack Black and rappers like Biz Markie is awesome. So what I'm trying to say is, the show might be like crack for my son...and I might - might - be addicted myself.

Why I Wish I Liked to Run

2009-09-08T14:18:00.000-07:00

If I liked to run, I'd be able to put on a pair of running shoes, open my door, and hit the pavement. If I liked to run, I could do it pretty much anytime, pretty much anywhere. If I liked to run, I wouldn't have to join a gym to get my cardio in.

Unfortunately, I don't like to run. Since giving birth, I've exercised two times. I gave birth in April of 2008. So...this isn't the best track record.

I am feeling like I want to work out. However, this feeling usually comes in the middle of the day while I'm at work. Not exactly the best time to go sweat it out. By the time I get home from work, I just want to cook and eat dinner, play with my baby, hang out with my husband and go to sleep. I am freaking tired.

At the same time, I know that working out will give me more energy, get rid of the muffin top I've got going on, and make me feel better in general. But I honestly feel like I don't have the time. Plus, all of our workout equipment is in the basement, and that's not quite the best place for anyone to be at the moment (we had a little issue with some water coming in). So what's a girl who feels that workout need to do?

I'm not sure. I'm asking for opinions. Something cheap. Actually, something free. I hear that there's an exercise channel on Comcast On Demand. Anyone ever try it?

This would all be so much easier if I liked to run.

I Quit Coffee. Kind Of.

2009-09-04T11:03:00.000-07:00

I had to quit coffee. It wasn't hard in the least, which leads me to the conclusion that I wasn't addicted in the first place. I had been drinking the stuff for less than a year, and the main reason I started was because my office acquired a Keurig coffee machine and it was such a neato gadget that I had to try it out. Repeatedly.

I happen to love the taste of coffee, but coffee itself makes me all jittery and nuts. I ignored all that and went ahead with a daily (or two) cup of Keurig-made goodness. After awhile, it became part of my morning routine at work.

When I went to work at my client's over the summer, my coffee habit followed me there. And sure, the coffee would wake me up and keep me awake for a good few hours, but then I found myself needing another cup in the middle of the afternoon. And I wondered why I couldn't fall asleep at night.

Besides wakefulness when I'd rather be asleep, I began to notice that I had heartburn a lot more often. And I just generally wasn't feeling up to par.

And that, my friends, is when I decided to quit coffee. I quit while on vacation. It was so easy. I never had headaches, was never cranky (well, no more cranky than usual), and I fell asleep with no problems.

I came back to my regular office determined to continue my coffee-free lifestyle. I made myself a cup that first day back, and couldn't even finish it. It tasted like ass. So I started drinking the green tea that I found in my stash at my desk. And I have to say, I feel so.much.better.

And then...pumpkin spice lattes returned for the fall to Starbucks. I had one today...decaf.

Sometimes All It Takes Is a Good Pandora Station

2009-09-02T14:06:00.000-07:00

I totally forgot that I love listening to Pandora while I work. I've created some pretty motivating stations for myself, including the Duran Duran station, the Shimmy Shimmy Ya station, and the Bell Biv Devoe station.

The latter, which I'm currently listening to, has made me all nostalgic for my early high school years, when I was all into extra large t-shirts and colorblocked shorts.

I hope our 15-year reunion actually happens as promised this year.

But I digress. When you're at work, and provided that you can actually access Pandora at work, get yourself to the website and set yourself up with a station that motivates you to get a shitload of work done. You won't be sorry.

This Time of Year...

2009-09-01T14:34:00.000-07:00

...always motivates me to get back into cooking. I love to cook. But during the summer, I'd rather be NOT cooking.

So...I've spent some time today going on recipe sites trying to come up with some creative ways to cook chicken that don't involve me marinating them in Soy Vay. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Soy Vay. But sometimes I'd like to prove that I can do something other than marinate chicken in the stuff.

On a somewhat related note, this time of year also reminds me that I can knit - although I'm no expert - and I really really really want to get back to it. I think I'll start with a hat I meant to knit myself this past winter. Maybe it'll be finished by next winter. Stay tuned for the progress.

I'm feeling a little rusty on the writing front, which is ironic, because I got to do a LOT more writing this summer at my client's office than I have in a long time at my job. It was nice. But I feel like my personal writing has gone way downhill.

Good thing I've committed myself to writing daily in this blog.

Forgive Me, Readers, For I Have...

2009-08-31T14:55:00.001-07:00

...oh wait. Jews don't do confession.

Anyhoo, it's been quite some time. My summer was a good one. I was working out of my client's office for four months while my main contact was on maternity leave. It was a good experience, and I'm grateful for the opportunity. I'm also grateful to be able to return to my regular office, my regular job.

I'm always giddy around this time of year. There's something about late August/early September that really energizes me. I get that back-to-school feeling, even though I'm long past my school days. Makes me want to get fall clothes. Makes me want to get organized (my perpetual struggle). In any event, I like it.

My little man had a little language explosion over our vacation in Virginia last week. It was amazing to hear him say things like, "Oh boy," and "All done!" I'm so proud to be his Mommy. He's good at sharing about 75 percent of the time, and he loves to help me put things away and sweep the floor. I don't really have the heart to tell him he's not very good at sweeping.

This post is kind of a jumble of things, but I want to say that I'm back. I've been thinking a lot lately about revamping this blog and making it great. I still plan to. But for now, I'm just going to keep on writing.

Ancient Parent Secret

2009-04-07T07:11:00.000-07:00

I am always so exhausted after work. It's a long damn day. Then I go home, make dinner, play with the baby and hang out with the husband. Which is all great stuff. I'm not complaining. But dude. I'm TIRED. So by the time the baby goes to bed (LATE), all I want to do is go to sleep. The dishes don't get done, the dust stays put on the furniture, and I don't even want to discuss the floors.

I figured out what I need to do to get a little housework done late at night after Tucker goes to sleep and Brian is doing work.

I drink a huge cup of coffee before I leave work. I'm rarin' to go until about 11, 11:30. I got so much done last night, people. Is this the best thing for me? Probably not. But for now, I finally realize why so many people drink coffee. I'll stop drinking it eventually. Like when I retire.

So, Um, Yeah

2009-04-06T12:47:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I've posted. I'm kinda burnt out, I have to admit. But I'm trying to pull myself out of it.

Work has been hectic. My client is going on maternity leave, and I will be taking over for her while she's out. I'm excited about it, but there is a lot of preparation involved.

Speaking of preparation, Tucker's first birthday is coming up! What does that mean? A party, of course. We're talking a barbeque with family and a few close friends. It's going to be like 50 people at least. Tee hee!

I love getting myself going on planning these things. I always think, "Oh, it'll all just fall into place." Um....

I have a lot of shit to do!! We've got to make sure the house is clean enough and clutter-free. We've got to make sure there's enough food...and along that line, we've got to get a kick-ass cake for the little guy. We're thinking a cupcake is the way to go. And then we might have something special for the adults...for those of you who read the blog, this'll be a fun surprise.

So, that's it in a nutshell. We got a new washer and dryer thanks to my wonderful husband. He really made doing laundry enjoyable, if there is such a thing as doing enjoyable laundry. Now if only there were enough hours in a day to catch up on said laundry...

Somehow, I Know One Day This Will Bite Me In The You Know What

2009-03-05T14:47:00.000-08:00

I always, always, always find bathroom humor hilarious. I'm like a five-year-old. So whenever Tucker farts, I laugh.

Well now, he laughs whenever he farts too. This is probably not a good thing. But damn, it's cute.

How Did It Get To Be That I Haven't Posted In So Long?

2009-02-20T14:43:00.000-08:00

I don't even know. The weeks are flying by. Tucker just turned 10 months old. It's really kinda crazy. His hair is getting long, like the kind of long where it's in his eyes a little bit, but I just can't bring myself to cut it. I think he looks damn cute like that. After his first birthday, I'll consider it.

I had an amazing weekend last weekend. I had a group of mommies over to my house who are truly just so cool. They're smart and talented and crafty and just so much fun. The meetup was actually a surprise shower for one of my friends who just had a baby. What a good excuse to get everyone together. They came from as far as New York and North Carolina and I couldn't have asked for more. It was awesome.

Brian has a gig in Vegas in two weeks and I'm so proud of him. He's got some other stuff coming down the pike, too. I feel like I should probably be doing his PR. Brian if you're reading this, we should talk about that.

This weekend is all about cleaning the house and trying to get organized. For a damn change.

This Is What Happens When Mommy Isn't Home During The Day

2009-01-27T12:53:00.001-08:00

Brian and Tucker like to mess with me while I'm at work. I'm always so jealous when I leave the house in the morning and they're still in their PJs, hanging out. So this is the (blurry) picture I get from them this afternoon...Apparently my baby is now a hillbilly.

Memory Candles, Best Friend Poems and Pink Balloons

2009-01-14T08:35:00.000-08:00

Those are the things that I remember most about my bat mitzvah...that was 20 years ago today! I wish I could say that it was more meaningful than just the big party that took place after I stood on the bimah and sang (in Hebrew, no less) in front of 200 of my closest friends and family. But I honestly was just excited about having a big party.

It wasn't a super-fancy affair. I had a luncheon after my service, complete with a band, a huge display of pink and white balloons at the front of the room, and little pads of pink paper made to look like dollar bills with my face stamped on each one as favors. Not cute.

I remember the party being really fun, and I remember that everyone loved my dress, which in retrospect was definitely more of a "night party" dress than a luncheon dress. But no matter. The important thing is that I got to party with my friends for the day, collect a lot of checks and get my very first period that night.

Yep. I became a woman that day in more ways than one.

And I bet you're thinking that I did something stupid with all the cash I got that day. Nope. I saved most of it, but spent some on a big TV and VCR for my room. So that I could record Young and the Restless and Days of Our Lives. True story.

Inspiration

2009-01-12T14:29:00.000-08:00

I told Amy that I would be writing a blog entry about inspiration...like two weeks ago. And then stupid Steven Speilberg made that the theme of his acceptance speech of his lifetime achievement Cecil B. DeMille whatever-it's-called award last night at the Golden Globes. And now everyone will just think I'm copying him. But I'm not. Amy, can you vouch for me? Thanks.

So...2009. We can talk all day about how it's the year we have to remember to mind our finances because the economy's in the shitter, and it's the historical year that we will see an African American man become President of the United States of America. And those are really important things.

But I'm going to talk about how 2009, at least for me, is going to be the year for inspiration. I'm going to look at what inspires me to do things, whatever those things are, and I'm actually going to do them. I am feeling alternately very motivated to create and too tired to create them. I have a lot that I want to achieve, and I feel like I want to make good on those promises to myself.

Last year, 2008, was an incredible year. I had a beautiful baby boy who amazes me every day. And I want him to be proud of me. I want him to look at me as an inspiration to do the things he wants to do. I know this might all seem kind of scatterbrained and arbitrary, but I know what I mean. For some reason I'm having trouble articulating it. Maybe when I start actually creating, I will be able to convey what I mean if I'm not coming off as making any sense.

My husband inspires me to think outside the box every day. He is constantly thinking up new things to do or perform or build. It's really amazing - his mind never stops. Sometimes I might seem annoyed because he's CONSTANTLY talking about new things - but I think mostly I'm just jealous that he is so creative and I don't think I can keep up sometimes. I want to be as creative as he is.

I've been lucky enough to meet a group of women, mothers specifically, who have inspired me to try things that I've been scared to try because of fear of failure. I'm gonna try. Because I'm inspired to.

Inspired to what, you might ask? I want to be better at the things I know. I have always been one of those people who knows a little about a lot of things. I want to know a lot about a lot of things. Like I can cook, but I'm not exceptional. I can knit, but I want to do things besides scarves and the like. I can write, but I haven't practiced my craft enough to really wow anyone. There are a million examples like this.

So 2009, here you are. A clean slate for me to fill with my creations, whatever they may be. Stay tuned.

They Start Them Younger and Younger...

2008-12-23T15:11:00.000-08:00

Some of you may know that Brian is a high school wrestling coach. He's great at it. He really takes it to heart that he can make a difference in these kids' lives. And he truly does. The kids (for the most part - when he's not making them do a million sprints and push-ups and other insane things) really love him and look up to him. I can't say enough about the fact that Brian really cares about these kids and wants them to succeed. Not only in wrestling, but in life. It sounds really cheesy, but it's true, so I don't care.

Anyhoo, Tucker has been to the mat club that Brian helps coach, but he's never been to a wrestling match. That is, until last night. I think he enjoyed himself. He kept looking up at the people in the bleachers and smiling at them as they yelled at the kids on the mat to crossface this or move your leg that. It was pretty cool. I took a few pictures.

Please excuse the sores around his little nose.

Wheeeeee

2008-12-18T11:37:00.000-08:00

I'm very excited to say that I won a contest! I can't tell you the last time I won a contest. It may have been never.

Thanks to Marty and all the other women over at Triangle Mamas, I entered to win a book and CD by Bill Leslie. From what I've listened to online, his music has a Celtic flavor and is just beautiful. Very soothing. Check out more about him here.

I can't wait to receive my treats and tell you all about them.

Thanks again, Triangle Mamas!

Weekend Fun

2008-12-15T14:50:00.000-08:00

So this weekend was pretty busy! I hosted a shower for an old colleague of mine. It was a lot of fun and I'm glad everyone seemed to have a good time. It was a coed affair, and I also extended the invite to kids of attendees. It was cool. The kids were small enough to have fun playing with Tucker's toys. Tucker loved being around the kids (who were all girls, mind you). Until, that is, he was tired and needed a nap. But that kid is such a charmer.

The shower lasted about three hours and I was glad to see that the turnout was small but meaningful. If you know what I mean. I got to see some people I hadn't seen in a long time, and I got to meet a couple of people who were pretty damn cool.

The rest of the weekend was filled with running errands and pretending that I have a clean house. My downstairs - spotless. Upstairs, on the other hand, is an utter mess and I'm embarrassed by it. I need to have time to declutter, and I am - slowly but surely. But I feel like I have so many papers - and just stuff in general - that I can get rid of. Anyone have a massive shredder I can borrow?

Oh, and then this morning, Brian walked into Tucker's room and found Tucker STANDING UP in his crib. Time to lower the mattress!

A Real Conversation

2008-12-08T12:57:00.000-08:00

This is a conversation I just had with a coworker. I can't really stop laughing about it.

D and I, talking about a mutual acquaintance's mother:

Me: Is she Israeli?
Him: No, she's Mexican.

Aaaaaand scene.

Brings Back Memories

2008-12-04T14:17:00.000-08:00

I kind of love this. No, scratch that. I DEFINITELY love this.

Animal wild!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ju75XsCO4o

Check This Out - It's Funny!

2008-12-03T08:36:00.000-08:00

This is my company's version of a Christmas card this year. It's really funny. Called Northern Exposure, it's a celebrity/gossip blog focused on the North Pole. Check back for updates.

www.northernexposuregossip.com

Trouble

2008-12-02T14:15:00.000-08:00

Oh, we're in trouble. Tucker figured out how to climb a step. He hasn't managed to try going up our staircase yet, but he did climb the two steps to the landing that leads to our staircase.

I feel like two weeks ago, he was just scooting around. Now he's a fast crawler. And he's got the red knees to prove it.

Good Genes (And Jeans)

2008-12-01T12:15:00.000-08:00

I had a pretty fun weekend. I didn't sleep a lot, which is a shame. Because I'm really tired.

Thanksgiving was generally pretty fun. I'm sure Brian would agree that it wasn't the most relaxing time at his parents' house. It was cool to see everyone, though. Too bad Tucker woke up after a nap that lasted less than an hour. He was charming, of course, but really tired.

The rest of the weekend I tried to tidy up the house a bit and also start doing this whole recycling thing. I know, I'm a bad person for not recycling before this, but hey, cut me some slack, Jack. I'm trying here. So I'm working on a way to make it easy to plunk bottles and cans in one recepticle, paper in another, and general trash in yet another. I'm just trying to figure out whether those plastic Gerber baby food containers are recyclable. They have the right number in their recycle triangle, but I am still unclear about whether or not my county takes them. If anyone knows the answer to this question, that would be fab.

I bought a pair of jeans at Old Navy - the skinny kind. I quite like them. In trying on the jeans, I realized how much I really need to get rid of my little belly pooch. It's really unattractive and makes me find myself repulsive. Sad, isn't it?

Then today I took a gift card I had from Banana Republic and got another pair of jeans and a cute little sweater. Who doesn't need a cute little sweater? There's always room. And the jeans? They are seriously awesome. Given the fact that the jeans I've been wearing for the past 10 years are not kind of wearing through in the crotch, I needed another pair. It's just not really appropriate to wear them to work, although I still do. But these new Banana jeans...they are a GREAT replacement. Let's just say...they're bananas.

Happy Anniversary To Me! (And My Husband, Too)

2008-11-26T10:50:00.000-08:00

I have been married three years today. In some ways it seems like it went by in no time, but in other ways it seems like we've been married for much longer. Which isn't a bad thing.

I love the family we have created. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Is Thanksgiving REALLY This Week?

2008-11-25T14:16:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's almost Thanksgiving. As in, two days from now, it's Thanksgiving. It doesn't seem possible. This year has flown!

I'm really looking forward to watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. It's kind of a tradition. I think it really started one year at my friend Rachel's sleepover party. In fact, Rachel's birthday is today! We watched the parade on TV and ever since then, I've had to watch it every year from start to finish. It is so cheesy but it is totally great. I don't know why I keep blathering on about this, but I can't stop!!!

When I had my internship in New York, the parade went directly down our street. We all worked on Thanksgiving, which they do every year, and people brought their kids in to watch the parade from our windows. It was kind of a dream come true for me.

I think for the first time ever, I might do the whole Black Friday shopping thing. The whole getting up at 3 a.m. thing. We'll see. My cousin Bonnie and I were talking about it today at lunch and she sort of talked me into it. Sort of. Speaking of Bonnie, she was featured on a segment on the Rachael Ray Show today - the "Rach to the Rescue" segment. It was pretty awesome. She learned how to prepare a real Thanksgiving meal. As in, one that doesn't come from boxes! Everyone should check out the clip at www.rachaelray.com!

That's about it. This is kind of a lame post, but I'm tired. Word.

Wow, I Haven't Posted In Awhile!!

2008-11-23T14:07:00.000-08:00

I don't know what that's about. I would really like to post more frequently. So, here I go.

Random things that are going on...

Brian's birthday was Friday. I took the day off. Brian is THE worst person to shop for. Tucker and I agree on that. Neither of us could find ANYTHING to get him!! It's really impossible. So we decided that Tucker is going to get him a chalk rack that he wants to for his pool table, and I'm going to get him the jeans and hiking boots he wants, whenever he gets around to picking them out. Because so help me if I pick them out myself. He is so damn particular.

Next comes our anniversary, which is the 26th. I think that's the day before Thanksgiving. I think. So, again, I have no clue what to get my husband of three years. Did I mention that he is the worst person to shop for?

Tucker is seven months old! He's scooting/crawling all over the place. I think now would be a great time to baby-proof things. I'm pretty sure babies shouldn't be around plastic bags. Yeah. Other than that, we've discovered that Tuck is quite the comedian. He really loves to make people laugh. For instance, he makes this certain noise that never fails to get me laughing, and he loves it. He keeps doing it until he gets tired of my laughing, and then he crawls away. Usually to find a shoe to chew on. Again with the baby-proofing...

Hmm, what else? Oh yeah, my boss is no longer in her position at work. In fact, she's no longer at my office period. Let's just say there was a mutual agreement that everyone should move on. I miss her. :(

I think that's it for now. I promise to blog more frequently, because I know all you tens of readers are really clamoring for the next installment. Cheers!

Big Boys Don't Cry...Much

2008-10-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

Tucker is a whopping 17 pounds 15 ounces! He is 27 1/2 inches long! I don't know where he came from since Brian and I are short peeps. My grandfather was a big guy, though, and Tucker has really taken after him in looks and build. So I guess I do know where he comes from...

When my mom came into the delivery room after Tucker was born, apparently she thought, "Oh my G-d, my father has been reincarnated." I'll have to scan a picture of my grandfather from when he was little and compare it to a picture of Tucker. It's pretty uncanny. At least I think so.

Tucker's six-month appointment included some shots as well as an oral vaccination. The doctor gave him the oral one first, and he HATED the taste of it. So he cried and cried during that. Then came the shots. He cried for a couple of seconds after they each went in and then I picked him up...and he stopped crying. He was his usual smiley self after that!

He got a little cranky after his second nap of the day, but after he ate, he was up for playing as usual. I love that boy.

Half a Year

2008-10-20T14:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Tucker turned six months old. I know it sounds cliche, but I really can't believe how fast time has flown. I also can't really remember what life was like without him. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I have known that boy all my life.

He's starting to do the rocking-back-and-forth-on-all-fours thing, which will lead, I'm assuming, to his crawling sometime soon. Brian and I think he looks like he's humping the floor, which provides endless hours of amusement. And he looks so happy doing it, which makes it all the more hilarious.

He's also saying "Mmmmm" when I feed him solid food. I say it, and then he says it back. It's really cute. I'm guessing he doesn't really get the connection and is just copying me, but still.

He also grabs my face and puts his mouth over my nose, mouth and forehead. I think he's kissing me. At least, that's what I choose to believe.

Oh, AND he's sitting up straight! It's so funny to see him do that. I don't know why. It's just amazing to think that six months ago, he was this tiny, scrawny little thing. Tomorrow is his six-month doctor's appointment and I am so curious to see how much he weighs, the little piglet.

Amazing What a Little Time Will Do

2008-10-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

My sister went back to work today after being on maternity leave for 3+ months. She says she's doing well and that everyone is being really nice. I'm sure it can't be easy, though.

I remember my first day back to work. Hell, it wasn't that long ago, but it feels like forever. I cried pretty much all day. I've got no shame. I cried as soon as I walked in and saw my boss. G-d bless her, she just walked up and gave me a hug. It was definitely appreciated. Every time someone asked me how I was doing, I would cry. Ugh. What a day.

I cried a lot that first week, and felt really sad for the next couple of weeks, too. But after that, I started to feel much better. It helps that I really love all the people in my department. They made it much easier to come to work every day.

And now? I'm SO excited to get home to see my baby. His smile when he sees me walk through the door is the best gift I've ever gotten (although, Brian, if you're reading this, I'd love a nice pair of diamond earrings).

So what I'm trying to say is, I never thought it would be true, but it actually DOES get easier. This working mom thing.

Fabulous Weekend

2008-10-15T12:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, I realize it's Wednesday, but I'm just now getting the time to post about the fabulous weekend I had in New York City with my sisters-in-law.

We stayed with my SIL M's parents' friends in an amazing loft in Chelsea. It was beautiful, really eclectic and large. We had our own room away from our hosts' bedroom, which was good because we poured ourselves into bed around 3 a.m. Sunday morning. I haven't done that in, well, years.

SIL T and I each brought up a bottle of champagne. We cracked both of those open on the train ride up, which was at 7:04 Saturday morning. I couldn't believe I was actually doing that! What, was I back in college? (Although in college I would have been cracking open a beer instead of a bottle of champagne.) By the time we got up to NYC two and half hours later, we were tipsy, tipsy, tipsy.

We made our way to our Chelsea accomodations and proceeded to open another bottle of wine with our lovely hostess. She had a fantastic New York accent and liked to talk politics. Turns out she's stumping for Obama. Did you know he's a smoker?? I had no idea.

Our hostess was going to the gym, so she left us to our own devices. We got ourselves together and went shopping. We shopped all. day. long. It was fabulous. We also had a really overpriced lunch in Soho, but that's okay. We had a good time. M and I got fabulous dresses to wear for our big Saturday night out - Nobu at 6:15.

The three of us got back to the loft and started to get ready. We had some wine and cheese with our hosts and then had to drag M out of the apartment. She was running a bit late. So we didn't get to take pictures of ourselves all dolled up. Which is really a shame, because we looked hot.

We made it to Nobu and had the most fabulous meal. It was seriously the best meal I've ever had. We got pretty drunk at dinner, and noticed a group at the table next to ours. M asked T to go ask the group where we should head after dinner. Next thing I know, the three of us are crammed at their table, each taking a shot of saki. The group was two local couples and they were sweet as can be.

M went to the ladies room with the two wives and suddenly T and I were being propositioned by the husbands. I felt bad for the wives, truthfully. Especially since one offered me a bit of her chocolate cake. But oh well. We took the group up on their recommendation to go to Tenjune in the Meatpacking District.

We.Had.A.Blast. We got more wine and met different people. We all ended up talking to this guy from London who was in town on business. He was my age, so it wasn't creepy. The two of us talked about music mostly and he told me abou this girlfriend. I showed him pictures of Tucker. He was really lovely. One highlight of the night is when M gave me some Tic Tacs. She put some in her mouth, and then immediately spit them out and threw them over the bar's railing onto some people below. It was pretty funny.

After we accidentally got into a Lincoln Towncar instead of a regular cab to get home, we got into bed. I think I managed to wash my face. I was sure I was going to throw up the next morning...But I didn't! We all woke up with headaches, but generally felt pretty okay. We had bagels with our hosts and then went out to shop some more. We were all pretty tired at that point, so we stopped for lunch and sat at the bar (and drank water) for a couple of hours. By then, it was time to get ready to get back to the train.

All told, it was really a fabulous weekend. I'm so glad I went with the girls. It was funny, people kept acting so surprised when we said that we were sisters-in-law and that we all got along. I guess that's a rarity these days. Anyway, I can't wait to do it again next year.

But boy, did I miss my husband and little babe.

Sharp Little Suckers, Aren't They?

2008-10-03T07:05:00.000-07:00

Last night Tucker was biting down on my finger as usual, but this time I felt something sharp when he did so...

A tooth! A tooth is popping through! I couldn't believe it...we took him to the doctor a couple of weeks ago for his first cold and I asked her if she felt anything tooth-wise since I could tell he'd been teething for awhile. She said she didn't feel anything and didn't think that he'd get any teeth for a little while.

I guess those things just pop up overnight! My little babe is growing up...

Feeding Time!

2008-10-02T14:52:00.000-07:00

Tucker is eating real food! And by real food I mean the mushed up variety that comes in cute little plastic containers. Yes, I want to get around to making my own baby food for him, but I just haven't yet. But I will. Because it's so practical and fun to put them into the little ice cube trays for easy dispensing!

Anyway, we started with rice cereal quite a few weeks ago and he did pretty well with it. He didn't know what to make of it at first and got this really sour look on his face which was so funny. But he figured out what to do...

As an aside, I tasted the rice cereal and BLECH. Cardboard city.

So once Tucker mastered the rice cereal, we decided it was time to move onto veggies. First up...sweet potatoes. He loved them! And especially loved taking pictures of him with the orange goatee he inevitably ended up with at the end of a feeding session.

Now we're onto carrots and he likes those, too. I figure they taste pretty similar to sweet potatoes, right? And the orange goatee remains...I'm downloading pictures when I get home so I can post them.

I'm Trying...

2008-09-25T13:52:00.000-07:00

...to figure out the Google Reader feature so that I can be cool enough to let the world know which blogs I follow. I am coming up against some errors, so if your blog isn't up there and you're offended, don't be. I'm trying to work it out.

When You Call Someone in the Middle of the Night, Can You Make Sure You Get the Number Right? Great, Thanks

2008-09-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

I awoke from a (fairly) sound sleep early this morning to my cell phone vibrating across the room as it was being charged. I always get so nervous when my phone rings in the middle of the night. It's never a good sign.

Me (groggily): Hello?
Asshole: Shavonne?
Me (groggily getting pissed): No.
Stupid asshole: : Oh! I'm sorry!
Me (awake, heart beating, PISSED): click

Is there a reason why people don't double check the number they dial in the middle of the night? Maybe it's because they should be asleep...

An Anomoly...Or Not.

2008-09-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

I was walking back to my office from a client meeting yesterday. It was a beautiful day, although it was hotter than the 70 degrees the weatherman predicted. Needless to say, I smelled like B.O. by the time I got back to my desk.

As I was walking along Pratt Street, which is a main thoroughfare downtown, I could hear the faint beginnings of Bonnie Tyler's epic ballad, "Total Eclipse of the Heart." I searched the line of cars stopped at the red light to see where it was coming from.

Imagine my surprise when I realized it was coming from a tricked-out black Ford sedan, complete with a spoiler on the back. Do people even care about spoilers anymore??

But wait, it gets better. There was an arm casually hanging out of the driver's side window, on which a huge black spider web was tattooed. And of course the guy was smoking a cigarette.

And BLASTING "Total Eclipse of the Heart." With great speakers. It was so interesting. I heart Baltimore.

Motivation? What Motivation?

2008-09-19T14:52:00.000-07:00

So a week after blogging with much gusto about my motivation for organizing my life, I am totally UNmotivated now. I still want to make this a goal. It's really important to me. But I can't seem to find the time to even attempt to walk into my closet.

See, I have this little thing called a baby now and he takes up all of my waking hours when I'm at home. I'm so thrilled to have him! I'm not complaining. But I need some kind of balance so that I can do little things like housework and still manage to spend as much time with him as humanly possible.

Because there's the guilt factor I have for being away from him for 11 hours every weekday. Sigh. However, he deserves to have a clean, orderly household in which to grow up. And a fun household. Emphasis on the fun.

I just drank a beer. That's why this post is kind of ramble-y.

Motivation...and GO

2008-09-12T13:59:00.000-07:00

I went to acupuncture last night. It was heavenly. I love getting stuck with needles. Actually, I don't love the getting stuck part (some points actually hurt!) but I love the feeling right after I get stuck. I know this probably sounds hokey, but I can feel the energy becoming unblocked where the needle goes in. It's pretty awesome.

As I lay there last night with the regular needles coming out of my feet, shins and wrists, and a couple of new ones in points on my nose (for sinus issues, thankyouverymuch), I kept thinking about how I want to be more organized in my life. So when my acupuncturist came back in to take the needles out and check my pulse, we talked about it.

We talked about the fact that I'm not an organized person by nature. I have always wanted to be organized, but I have trouble finding the motivation to actually be organized. I think having a child might be the motivation I need.

See, all I want to do when I get home is play with my baby, eat dinner and go to sleep. And by the time I am ready to go to sleep, it is all I can do to force myself to brush my teeth and wash my face. So I have got to think of some tactics to put into place in order to create, well, order in my life.

I think first I will start by organizing my closet. And actually doing laundry on a regular basis.

Next, I will meal plan more. That is, I will take the time on the weekend to think about what meals I want to make for the week, create a shopping list and go shopping based on that list. Period. No roaming the aisles aimlessly anymore.

After that, I don't know! But I really want to make this a serious goal. I go back to acupuncture next month and I want to be able to report on my progress to my beloved acupuncturist.

I Want To Eat Him

2008-09-11T12:46:00.000-07:00

This little boy is just delish. Sigh.

There Is Nothing Hotter...

2008-09-07T18:49:00.000-07:00

...than getting out of the shower to hear the sound of the vacuum running downstairs. And the the clink, clink, clink of the clean dishes from the dishwasher being put into their rightful places in the cabinets and drawers. And the rustling of papers being straightened on the coffee and kitchen tables.

Talk about hot and bothered! There's nothing better than hearing your husband clean up the house...without any prompting from me WHATSOEVER!! He's turning into quite the Mr. Mom.

Resolve

2008-09-06T14:47:00.000-07:00

Ever since I was pregnant with Tucker, I didn't think much about fat and calories. I'm not saying that pregnancy gave me the leeway to eat whatever I wanted - I would still think about nutrition most of the time - but I'm saying that I didn't worry if I went to Starbucks and got a full-fat chai latte. Or used butter when cooking. Or (gasp!) real sugar.

So I guess I got used to this style of eating. And now it's time for me to un-get used to it. Because while I've lost a lot of the baby weight, I'm still not back down to my old weight. And I'm feeling blech.

So back comes the reduced fat foodstuffs. Back comes the Splenda. Skim milk in my chai. But I think I'll stick with real butter.

Connect The Dots, La, La, La, La

2008-08-21T08:35:00.000-07:00

I'm having a problem with acne lately. I had a nice, big, red pimple smack dab in the middle of my two eyebrows. It was really lovely. Upon closer inspection of it, I realized that I really had to tweeze the stray hairs around there. Ugh. I've never waxed my eyebrows in my life, and now this? Stray hairs that could one day connect to make a unibrow? NOT GOOD.

So that zit left town. But now I have one, literally directly under it, on the underside of my lower lip. And it's a goodie. By goodie I mean that it's a whitehead that isn't quite ready to be popped, but once it is ready, it'll be one satisfying mothereffer.

I just feel gross.

I've Become a Coke Addict

2008-08-18T07:23:00.000-07:00

Coca-Cola, that is. And not that diet shit either.

I prided myself on not drinking soda. And now I need the caffeine. Does that make me weak?

Kind of an Older Picture, But...

2008-08-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

Here's one of me and Tuck.

Why I'm Now On Crazy Pills

2008-08-14T14:42:00.000-07:00

So at the beginning of July, I had a mole removed from my right shoulder. It hadn't been there forever, and I would freak out about it on and off. So finally, I decided to stop being such a baby and get it removed. My doctor didn't think that it was anything to worry about, but he sent it for biopsy anyway since that's what dermos do when they remove any skin growth.

Fast forward a week, which is also my first day back at work. I get a call from the dermo's assistant, who tells me that the lab called and my mole came back as 'atypical.' Which means it had to get sent for more tests at another lab so that they could determine exactly what 'atypical' meant. I freaked out on the assistant, and repeatedly asked her if I was going to die. She assured me that I wasn't going to die, and I calmed down.

Fast forward two weeks from that day, when I get a call from said assistant again. She said that the doctor wanted me to come back in to have more skin taken from around where the mole was taken because they want to make sure it's all gone. She told me that what I had was benign, though.

So, fine. I go back to the dermo, who shows me the pathology report from my mole. It said that my mole had characteristics of this one specific kind of growth, but that there could be a component of melanoma. Well. I went bananas. I cried. I asked if I was going to die. I kept saying, "I'm a new mother. Am I going to die?" They repeatedly - and I mean repeatedly - assured me that I would not die from this. Even if it was melanoma, it was caught very early. And since the lab couldn't even definitively say that it was melanoma, it most likely was not. The doc said that the lab had to put that in the report to cover themselves just in case.

Well. I was beside myself for a week. I couldn't eat. I couldn't be alone. I couldn't focus at work. I was a wreck. I called the dermo's assistant a couple of times to have her tell me that I wasn't going to die. She did. She was very sweet. I heart her totally.

I visited my primary care physician because I was such a wreck that I had to go on psychotropic drugs. She prescribed them and assured me that she thought everything would be fine.

I visited my acupuncturist for some calming effects. She was great. I heart her totally.

And then the dermo's assistant called to tell me that what I had removed was in fact benign. I could have grabbed her through the phone and kissed her. WHEW. But I still need those drugs.

And the moral of the story is twofold. First, always, always, always wear sunscreen and don't use tanning beds. And, if you see a mole that looks funny, get it checked out as soon as possible.

Thank you.

Apparently, I'm Not Really Cool Anymore

2008-07-25T07:29:00.000-07:00

Well, maybe I shouldn't say that. But I'm just feeling so out of the loop since I've been back to work. It's like I completely forgot that there's this whole thing going on called 'the world' that I've ignored since having Tucker.

Last night my office had one of its 'famous' happy hours. I say famous in quotes because, let's face it, the events are only famous in the company owners' minds. It's really quite amusing how much effort they put into throwing this thing. I really had no stomach for it, but I had to attend for at least a little while in a show of solidarity. Blech.

Anyway, I left after about an hour to go pick up Tucker from wrestling practice. No, he's not quite old enough to wrestle, but Brian takes him to practice because he coaches a mat club in the summer for kids around the county. I pick the baby up at practice after I get out of work.

It was a nice night with Tucker. He slept pretty well - from 9 to 2 a.m. and then again from about 3:30 to 7:30. We've got to work on him going back to sleep after he eats in the middle of the night, but that's another story for another time.

Anyway, fast forward to this morning when I got to work and felt completely left out because everyone was talking about the great time they had last night, how drunk they were, how hungover they are, etc., etc., etc. I just don't feel like a part of that world anymore. I'm not interested in hanging out with my coworkers, getting drunk. I'm interested in getting home to see my son before he falls asleep for the night.

It's weird, because I always like to be in the middle of everything. And now I feel very much on the outskirts. I don't mind so much, because I'd much rather be with my family. But it's definitely an adjustment.

Eddie Eddie Bo Beddie

2008-07-07T13:32:00.000-07:00

My little nephew Eddie is here! My sister had him on Saturday morning, July 5th. He's a little man, and weighed in at 7 lbs. 14 oz.

Cammy, Katie, Jude-y and Jack

2008-06-05T11:34:00.000-07:00

I have a new favorite movie. It's called The Holiday. I watch it every single time it's on Starz, which we recently picked up in lieu of Skinamax. It stars Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law and Jack Black. I think should have won awards for their performances. Not actually, but I do really love to watch it.

Amazing

2008-05-30T09:52:00.000-07:00

Lots of things have become amazing to me since I've become Mommy to little Tucker.

I am amazed at how long I can stare at one person and not want to look away. Tucker makes the cutest faces, and even when he's actually NOT making any faces, I still have to stare.

I am amazed at how little sleep I can get by on now. Sure, I try to take naps here and there, but the sleep I'm getting is absolutely NOTHING compared to what I would get before. I am a champion sleeper.

I am amazed that I look forward to picking boogies out of my son's nose. They're so cool! Believe me, if it were anyone else, I would barf at the thought of having to dig in their nose. Blech.

I am amazed at how protective I am of him. I didn't think I would be this obsessive, but I am. Brian said he knew all along how obsessive I would be. I guess I should believe him.

I am amazed at the fact that I think I can tell what my little guy is thinking. And he's hilarious!

I am amazed at how much a little smile can bring tears to my eyes.

And finally, to end this post before I start rambling too much, I am amazed at how much I don't care about how I look when I go out in public. I should probably be ashamed of myself, but I'm not. I think I've worn makeup five times in the last almost six weeks.

Seriously?

2008-05-30T09:41:00.001-07:00

Okay, let me break it down for you. I just put Tucker down for a nap. Finally I was able to take a moment to read a magazine on the toilet (hey, I'm learning to multitask these days...). It was great! I haven't read a magazine in weeks, and I have a ton of them to catch up on.

So I'm reading all about skin care products in May's Real Simple (keep in mind I have June's issue to get through, too) when the phone rings. Dammit! I always like to get the phone just in case...So I jump up off the toilet (I had already wiped) and pick up the phone. "Hello?... Hello?" You readers know that when you have to say hello more than once, you're usually in trouble. It usually means that it's some sort of telemarketer or pre-recorded message waiting for you on the other end of the line.

I was in trouble. A pre-recorded message finally began, and it was, of all people, The Miz!! You know, Mike from the Real World Back to New York who dated Trishelle, participated on all of those Real World/Road Rules challenges and decided to become a professional wrestler? He was calling to remind me to order the WWE fights that are happening this weekend.

Now, I am a starfucker of the highest order. I am obsessed with celebrities big and small. Hell, I had a small nervous breakdown when I thought I saw Samuel L. Jackson on the street in New York. It turns out that I DID actually see him. In front of Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. Ask Brian how much I freaked out before I realized he was made of wax.

But my point is, normally I would be tickled to hear The Miz on the other end of my phone. Just not when I have to jump off the toilet to do it.

Jury Doody

2008-05-14T11:57:00.001-07:00

I don't know what I was thinking, but I didn't write in to get my jury duty excused being that I have a newborn and all. Anyway, it was yesterday. I unhappily got up after about three hours of sleep and made my way to the courthouse to do my civil duty or whatever it is you call it.
Did I mention that I've never been called to serve jury duty before? What are the chances that I would get called NOW?
So I got to the courthouse and took a seat, waiting to sign in. Of course they called the group I was sitting in dead last to sign in. I got to the courthouse at 8:30 and didn't get to sign in until 9:30. During that hour, I sat in a chair wondering how the hell I was going to make it through the day given the fact that I was so tired I considered curling up in a ball on the floor and crying. I mean, I didn't know what I was going to do. I brought magazines to read and thank you cards to write, and I couldn't muster up the energy to even open the bag where I stored them.
Finally we got called to sign in. When I got to the front of the line and stated my name, the woman looked at her records and said, "Oh Ms. Rudo, do you have an issue with daycare?"
See, when you send in your form for jury duty, they ask you whether you provide daycare for your children, to which I replied, "Yes."
So I told the woman that I have a three-week-old at home. And she said the words that were music to my ears - "Oh, they've excused you. Didn't you get the notice in the mail? Oh wait, they sent it out Friday."
Friday?!? Yesterday was only Tuesday. I didn't get that piece of mail. And I still haven't, as a matter of fact. It would have been nice to have gotten the notice before I schlepped all the way to the courthouse. But really, I'm just thankful I got to hightail it out of there when I did.

Mmmmmmmommy

2008-05-08T13:30:00.000-07:00

I'm back. I feel like blogging. Finally!

I have a little guy sleeping next to me as I type this. He's in his REM sleep cycle, which means that he flails his little arms around and makes cute baby noises. Apparently that's how babies' REM sleep cycles are. I have a lot to learn.

So where do I begin? I'll start on April 15th, when I went to get checked by my midwife. I had progressed to about 2 cm and was 80 percent effaced. I knew that I wanted her to deliver my baby, as opposed to any of the other doctors in the practice I go to. Not because I don't love all the doctors there, because I do. It's just that I had developed a great relationship with my midwife. So...we set a date for induction for Saturday, the 19th because my midwife was scheduled to be on call at the hospital that day. Woot!

So I ended up starting my maternity leave that Thursday the 17th to give myself a couple of days to get ready, do some things for myself, that kind of stuff. I even got a manicure. When I went out in public and people would ask when I was due, they looked a little scared when I told them.

Brian and I went out for a fun dinner on April 18th and I started to get nervous. I hadn't really been nervous for labor prior to that. I guess it just hit me all at once. I had to get up at about 4:30 the next morning, so I'm glad I got nervous so close to my induction.

We got to the hospital at 5:45 on Saturday morning and I was admitted a little after 6. I started the Pitocin at 7 a.m., and started feeling contractions an hour or so later. No big deal. Well, at least at first. Once the contractions got a bit stronger, I asked very nicely for my epidural, which they were more than happy to give me.

Good stuff.

I slept for about three hours after I got that bad boy. In my head I was all, "Labor? No big deal! I could do this every day!" That is, until it came time to push. Not that it was bad, but it was so much more exhausting than I imagined it would be. I pushed for a little bit, and it was determined that the little man's head was face up instead of face down. So they had me lay on my side for about an hour to see if he would flip down. He did!

Then the real pushing began. I swear, I am really proud of myself for not cussing anyone out. I was surprisingly calm. I remember when little man started to crown, my midwife and Brian commented on the fact that they could see his hair. And I kept saying, "Are you sure it's not pubic hair? Are you sure it's not pubic hair?" (Because, let's face it, I hadn't really kept up with the grooming down there. Ahem.)

Just as he was crowing, my epidural started to wear off. Wowsers. That hurt. I said that I didn't think I could do it anymore. I felt like I was going to split apart. But the anesthesiologist came in and gave me more and I was able to finish what I had started. I was surprised that once his little head came out, his body followed so quickly! And I was not in the least bit surprised to hear that it was a boy! I just knew it. I knew it all along.

I can really describe what it was like when they put him on my chest, but I just felt like I had known this little guy all my life. Tucker Scott. We had picked out the name awhile before. It was literally the only boy name we could agree on. Here he is:

I am completely in love with him. The past couple of weeks have gone by so quickly that I can't actually believe it. I don't even know where the time has gone. I spend a lot of it staring at him because I can't believe he's here and that he's mine. Here's another couple of photos for your enjoyment.

I Figured It Out

2008-03-26T11:21:00.000-07:00

The stupidest song in the world, that is.

Mr. Roboto by Styx. I listened to the whole thing this morning in the car, and I have to say, I am sad about those five minutes I'll never get back.

The funniest part is that when it came on, I was all, "All right! Yes! Woo hoo!! Mr. Roboto! I haven't heard this song in FOREVER!!" I was so pumped.

Then as I sat there listening to it, I became more and more upset by it. Because the lyrics are the worst ever. And then I looked it up on Wikipedia and it turns out that the song is part of Styx's concept album for a rock opera having something to do with some freak who gets locked up in some kind of jail for musicians or something and he escapes by killing the Roboto who was guarding him and hiding in his empty shell of a robot body. I seriously cannot believe that:
a. Styx made a rock opera/concept album
and
b. That this is what they chose as the plot

That's why the song says 'Domo arigato Mr. Roboto,' which translates to 'Thank you very much Mr. Roboto.' The guy is thanking this Roboto for letting him kill it and hide in his body.

This is all too much for me.

All I Need Are Some Tasty Waves...

2008-03-07T13:19:00.000-08:00

Well, actually what I'd like are some Tastycakes. Or a Little Debbie snack cake. Or any cake really. The point is, I am really into baked goods.

This is so unlike me. Usually I'd go for savory over sweet. That's not to say I don't enjoy my desserts. I really do. But I usually really enjoy my savory meals more.

It started last weekend when I realized that all I wanted for breakfast was some pancakes. Preferably of the chocolate chip variety. It was a good thing I was meeting Amy and the gang for breakfast at Miss Shirley's. I got my pancakes, and they were damn good.

But here's the weird part. I don't normally order pancakes, or any other kind of sweet breakfast item, when I go out to breakfast. I almost always prefer a nice omelet or some such thing.

Fast forward to today. I went to Whole Foods before I went to work so that I could get some lunch (I had a doc appointment this morning and was going to be late to work anyway). I picked up a salad, which at the time, only semi-appealed to me. By the time I was at work and ready to eat said salad, I couldn't have been more sad to eat it. This is normally not the case.

So what did I do? Ate part of the salad, threw the rest away, braved the rain outside and hiked to Panera (less than a block away) for a chocolate chip cookie and a pumpkin muffie (the top half of the muffin). And I ate the hell out of them.

The ironic part? This morning I was complaining to the midwife about how tired I am, and she suggested cutting out simple sugars. Um...I'll start that tomorrow. For sure.

"I Can't Believe This is Really Happening"

2008-02-29T13:15:00.000-08:00

This is not pregnancy related.

These were the words I just uttered at my office. Someone brought a trumpet to work today and has been playing it off and on all day.

How many people can say the same about their office? Jealous?

Oh wait, everyone just clapped. It was a good song I guess.

The Worst Commercials Ever

2008-02-15T08:42:00.000-08:00

I cannot stand those new Comcast commercials where there is one person who speaks like a normal human being and another person who opens their mouth only to have random songs come out. And all the songs contain the lyrics 'more more more.'

I hate them I hate them I hate them.

Neti Pot Tales

2008-01-31T14:44:00.000-08:00

Never heard of a neti pot? Actually, mine has changed my life. But seriously, it does the grossest thing I've ever experienced.

Confused? Here's a little background. I've been having some sinus problems lately. I had a couple of colds, and each time I got over them, the nasal stuffiness just lingered for days on end. It made sleeping impossible. No amount of nose blowing worked. It was just miserable.

Until I discovered the wonder that is the neti pot. I'd heard about them, and had even contemplated buying one for years. But...I don't know. I was chicken. Even watching Dr. Oz make some poor audience member demonstrate its use on the Oprah show didn't make me want to rush right out and buy one. But finally I did.

Apparently there is a practice of neti that has been around for centuries. I guess the most devoted people use oils and such in their neti pots, but really, that's just weird.

I bet you're all still confused. Let me explain what a neti pot is used for. In a nutshell, it's a little pot that irrigates your sinuses. And here's how you do it.

Fill the little pot (it looks like a teapot) with warm distilled water mixed with a little bit of regular old table salt. Stick the pot's spout up one of your nostrils. Tilt your head to the side and forward (just a little!) and watch as the water pours into one nostril and comes out the other. Repeat on the other side. Then exhale - hard. And watch what comes out of your nose. It's unreal. Oh wait. Don't forget to do this over a sink. (Just in case you're a little slow)

Holy shit. This practice of neti has made a world of difference in my life. I can breathe at night, which means I can sleep. I'm not embarrassed in restaurants as I mouth-breathe and eat at the same time (ew). I am 100% thrilled with my $17.95 purchase. You can pick one of these babies up at WholeFoods.

The only problem I've experience so far is that if I tilt my head a certain way, I feel like I'm drowning myself since the water gets sort of backed up in my head.

Close Call!

2008-01-30T14:22:00.000-08:00

So I went in for my 1-hour glucose test this past Friday to check for gestational diabetes. After buying two cartons of Edy's ice cream this weekend (whatever, they were on sale and they are American Idol flavors, thank you very much), I found out on Monday that I failed! So I had to go back for a three-hour test, which is, in a word, NOT FUN. Okay, that was two words.

For those of you who aren't familiar with this test, you first get your blood drawn to get a base reading on your blood sugar levels. Then you drink the sweetest, most disgusting bug juice you've ever had in your life. Then you sit for an hour and have more blood drawn. Then wait another hour and have even more blood drawn. Then wait an hour after that and have blood drawn again! Suffice it to say that I now look like a pregnant addict.

The good news is that I got my results today and I passed! Woo hoo! Now I can eat all that American Idol ice cream. Not that it would have gone to waste...my husband would have made sure of that.

On a totally unrelated note, I was on my way to the subway this morning. I was almost there, and was stopped at a red light. I look over to my passenger seat to make sure I have everything...bag of food, check. Purse...no check. Where the hell was my purse?? Yeah...It was still sitting on my kitchen table where I left it before running out of the house. So back I go. I was so irritated. Pregnancy brain at its finest. But at least I had my food with me - I know where my priorities are.

Try To Figure This One Out

2008-01-16T07:42:00.000-08:00

I had the weirdest dream last night.

I went to my doctor for a regular OB appointment and the midwife, played by Brooke Smith, who is currently the new heart surgeon on Grey's anatomy, did an ultrasound. Well, we didn't tell her that we don't want to find out the sex until the birth. That was a mistake. Because on the screen, we could see the baby's little penis. I said, "No, no, we didn't want to find out yet!!"

So Brooke Smith who was playing my midwife said she would just deliver the baby right then. She did, and the baby came out with Norm McDonald's head. It could talk and stuff. In that Norm McDonald voice. And I kept thinking, I know I'm supposed to love my baby, but how can I deal with that whiny voice??

Then to throw another wrench in the whole situation, my mom was at a bartenders' convention in Vegas. She planned it because I wasn't supposed to deliver until weeks later.

I woke up very confused and grateful that Norm McDonald is someone else's son. I mean, he's funny and all, but that voice...man...

I'm Slowly Going Crazy, Or How Elton John and Mary J. Blige Affected My Morning

2008-01-15T10:21:00.000-08:00

I was driving along to the subway today, driving, driving, driving, when I decided to pop in the CD that my friend Shana made me. It's a really good one. Thanks, Shana!

I listened to some Coldplay, some Cure...good stuff. Then comes that Elton John classic, "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues." It's the live version duet with Mary J. Blige. It's really really good. If you've never heard it, get yourself to iTunes and download it. You won't be sorry.

I have always loved this song, Mary J. Blige or not. I'm a big Elton John fan. Don't get me started.

But anyway, the song is going on...and all the sudden I find myself crying. I really truly finally UNDERSTOOD why they call it the blues. I couldn't believe I was crying! You have to understand, I'm not that big of a cryer.

I almost turned my car around and went home to curl up in a ball and meditate on the meaning, the true meaning, of that song. Instead, I drove to the damn subway station and got on a train. And then I was REALLY depressed. At least I know my hormones are flying all over the place, as they should be.

An Anniversary of Sorts

2008-01-14T09:29:00.000-08:00

Nineteen years ago today, I became a Bat Mitzvah. I mean, how old do I feel now?? Christ.

Oreos Will Make Me Nuts and Broccoli Will Make Me Cry

2008-01-11T11:56:00.001-08:00

I have learned two things recently. If I eat five oreos in a row, my baby kicks me all over the place. I feel like it could have punched me in the face!

If I eat broccoli, I will get THE worst gas pains ever. The first time it happened was about three or four Saturdays ago, and I went to the hospital. Yep, it was just gas. But it took me a couple of times of eating broccoli to figure out that it was the culprit.

Which is too bad because I really do like broccoli.

But I'll continue to eat the Oreos, because I don't mind getting kicked by the baby.

Resolutions

2008-01-02T10:33:00.000-08:00

I have two New Year's resolutions (well actually I have three, and one is a carry-over from last year).

1. The 2007 carry-over - I will not gossip as much. I have, aside from celebrity gossip (which doesn't count), really tried to get away from gossiping as much. It's hard, given how much I love to know everything.

2. I will bring my lunch to work at least 3 days per week. This is a toughie. I am so bad about making my lunch.

3. I will wear lip gloss every day.

I hope these have been inspiring.

Is It Pathetic...

2007-12-31T11:06:00.001-08:00

...that I really really want this?

http://www.dyson.com/store/product.asp?product=DC16-SY-STD

A New Low

2007-12-31T08:39:00.000-08:00

Saturday afternoon I stopped at Target for a couple of random things. When I got back to my car, I saw an almost-full pack of McDonald's french fries sitting right under the driver's side door. The fries themselves weren't even touching the ground. So I thought...for a few seconds...about eating a couple of them.

Sue me, I was hungry! I wasn't eating dinner for at least another hour!!

I didn't do it. But obviously I'm still thinking about those fries.

I Know People Mean Well, But...

2007-12-12T13:32:00.000-08:00

...please, please, please stop asking me how I'm feeling every time you see me or email me. It's enough with that already. It makes me feel like I should be feeling bad or something. I don't feel bad! I get some of the usual aches and pains associated with being 21 weeks pregnant. Also stop asking me if I feel the baby all the time. I don't. I feel it every day, but not every single second of the day. That also makes me worried that there is something wrong with me. I worry enough as it is.

What Up, Cuz?

2007-12-12T09:19:00.000-08:00

So I have to give a shout-out to my sister, aka WassyGirl...she's pregs!!

Due in July, WassyBaby will only be a couple of months younger than the growing one inhabiting my uterus! They will be the same age! In the same grade!! Isn't that great??

I liked having cousins who were around my age. In fact, my sister and our one cousin were in the same grade and they were the best of friends. Pretty awesome!

Snow Looks Pretty When You See It From Your Window

2007-12-06T14:17:00.000-08:00

We definitely got more than the reported 2 inches of snow yesterday. It snowed from about 8 in the morning to about 9 last night. Brian went out and shoveled around 6:30, and cleaned my car off for me, too. (aw)

So this morning, I go out and my damn car's covered in snow! Fine. So I turn the car on and let the defroster go at full blast. Then I get out of the car and open the rear door on the driver's side to get out my ice scraper/snow getter-offer thingy. And lo and behold, it's not there!! What the...

Admittedly, my car isn't immaculate. There is shit all over the backseat. But still, I always keep the snow getter-offer in the same spot on the floor right under my seat. It wasn't freaking there. I went through everything in the back of the car and it was just gone. I even looked in my trunk. No dice.

I can only assume that when I got my car fixed earlier this year after it was rear ended that the people who fixed it stole my snow getter-offer. I'm pissed. I really liked that thing, and it wasn't cheap.

So what did I do to clean the snow off my car (that was about 3 inches thick, might I add)? I took my yoga mat, which hasn't seen a yoga studio in well over a year, and brushed all the snow off with it. It wasn't the best, but it worked and I got to the subway station in no time.

Which leads me to my next story. I sit down on the subway and open 'Eat, Pray, Love' which is just fantastic, by the way. Aaahhh.

And then this freak with a ski cap on and a coat that says 'Ferrari' across the back sits down next to me. His knuckles were as hairy as my head. I am pointedly reading my book. The train hasn't even started yet. And he asks, "Are you getting off at Charles Center?" To which I reply, "No," and go back to reading my book.

And then he has the nerve to ask a follow-up question. "Well, where are you getting off?" Well I never! I looked down at his hairy knuckles and up at his face and said, "Shot Tower." And he said, "Okay, that works."

Um, what? As if he was giving me permission to get off at that stop. I just rolled my eyes and went back to reading.

I know why he asked me, too. He asked me because most people get off at Charles Center, and that way he won't have to get up to let me out of my seat (I had a window seat) BEFORE Charles Center, because clearly that's where he was going. I get off at Shot Tower, the stop after Charles Center.

I almost told that hairy bastard to go drive his Ferrari.

Blah

2007-12-03T13:59:00.003-08:00

I have a sore throat. This sucks. That's all.

Peeing When I Sneeze

2007-11-29T19:58:00.000-08:00

It's always a surprise when I pee a little as I sneeze. Even though I'm prepared for it, the pee pee is still a shock.

We had our big ultrasound yesterday! It was pretty exciting. I am 19 weeks 4 days (well, yesterday I was 19 weeks 3 days), and I am measuring at 20 weeks. That has been pretty consistent throughout the pregnancy - I've been measuring four days ahead for each ultrasound. The tech said the doctors likely wouldn't change my due date from April 18th to April 16th, so we're just going to go with a due range. How's that?

We could have found out the sex yesterday, but we want to be surprised. We did get to see the brain, four chambers of the heart, kidneys and bladder. The baby was resting (I don't normally start feeling it till much later in the day - our appointment was at 8:30 in the morning), and it refused to roll over so that we can see its spine. So, we have to go back soon for that. Oh well, another chance to see the baby!

What was pretty funny was that the baby's hand was underneath its chin, its mouth was a little bit open and its legs were crossed at the ankle. It relaxes the same way that I do. The mouth open thing is a big thing on my mother's side of the family. So at least I know the child is mine. I was a little skeptical for awhile...

Sometimes I Don't Like People

2007-11-23T08:42:00.000-08:00

Some people are saying that I don't look pregnant, that I'm not showing, blah blah blah. I guess they mean it as a compliment, but I totally feel like I'm showing. I'm exclusively in maternity pants for crissakes.

And now they are comparing me to another person I know who is pregnant. She is two weeks behind me and her belly popped a couple of days ago, seemlingly overnight. And one of the people I know said, "But you haven't popped yet and you're ahead of her."

Okay first of all comments like that are just ignorant. Everyone's body is different. Plus, if you haven't noticed that my belly has popped, it might just be because I don't wear formfitting clothes and you just can't tell as much with me.

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but I guess it just sort of makes me feel like I'm less of a pregnant woman because my body is carrying things differently. I really wish people would keep their opinions to themselves.

Aaaand scene.

Dammit!!

2007-11-20T12:58:00.000-08:00

Every year on Thanksgiving my dad makes a pumpkin pie. And every year he saves the leftover raw crust and raw pumpkin filling for my sister and I to split and eat. It's a tradition. Don't mess with it.

So my sister and I were just emailing back and forth and I was telling her that Brian and I are going to Atlantic City tomorrow for his birthday and would be back in time for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. She replied that I wouldn't be able to eat the pumpkin stuff. I told her that she'd better not touch my half and that I'd eat it when I got to dinner. And then I remembered that there is raw egg in the pumpkin mixture and I can't eat it because I'm pregnant.

Hmph. I guess I'll have to eat two pieces of pie on Thursday to make up for it.

Like a Chimney

2007-11-20T12:54:00.000-08:00

Ever since I've gotten pregnant, I've been having dreams that I am smoking. For the first little while, in the dreams I was smoking in front of coworkers so that they wouldn't suspect that I was pregnant. I kept telling myself that a few cigarettes a day weren't really any harm to the baby. I always woke up relieved that I hadn't actually been smoking.

Then last night I had a dream that I was getting stoned with a random group of people. People that I know in real life, mind you, but people who don't necessarily know each other or belong together. In this dream I kept telling myself that pot doesn't hurt babies.

I don't really have a point to this blog entry, but I think it's interesting that I have these recurring smoking dreams.

What Can I Tell You? It's Funny.

2007-11-12T18:41:00.001-08:00

Brian and I were talking tonight and I was half watching TV as our conversation unfolded. To be honest, I was more than half watching the television. It was more like three-quarters.

We were talking about being successful and Brian said that he really hopes our kids become successful in whatever they do. It was a really sweet moment.

Unfortunately for him, at the very same time, a commercial for South Park came on. And in it, Stan's father was making a gigantic doody that was making him rise out of the toilet. And I said, "Ooooh, doody!!!" And I laughed and laughed.

Brian said, "Well, whatever I was saying doesn't matter now."

And that, my friends, is a true story.

I Want Onion Rings

2007-11-05T13:34:00.000-08:00

We're meeting a friend at Red Robin tonight for dinner and they have really really super good onion rings. I can't stop thinking about them. And then I feel guilty for eating them. Because of the baby and all. I did eat a salad for lunch, though.

On a related note, I can't think of any good snacks to bring to work with me. I keep a random apple here and there, but I just get STARVING sometimes and need a little something else. Those 100 calorie packs are for the birds, though.

Hurt Boogies

2007-11-01T10:10:00.000-07:00

Does anyone ever get those boogies that stick to the sides of your nostrils? The kind that when you move your nose around, they scratch its insides? I woke up with a nose full of them this morning. My college friend coined the term, but it's such a good, descriptive one that I have to use it too. Hurt boogies.

So pregnant women can tend to have more sinus issues. That is so the case for me. I don't normally have terrible allergies this time of year, but I'm starting to sympathize with all the people I know who do. But, since it's all for a good cause, I'm not going to complain. Too much.

Coming Clean, Letting the Cat Out of the Bag and Other Assorted Cliches

2007-10-31T07:47:00.000-07:00

So....

I'm pregnant!! Woo! It's great to be able to post this post!! I was waiting to tell my boss before I did so. I'm almost four months along and things are good!!

Right now I'm dressed as pregnant Britney Spears for our Halloween party at work. The Mrs. Mia Wallace costumer unfortunately didn't work out. Pictures to come...

Cleaning Up My Act

2007-10-25T14:46:00.000-07:00

I desperating need to clean my house. It is a desperate situation. I can't believe it has gotten so bad. Does anyone have any cleaning tips for me? I'm talking top to bottom clean.

Help!

Bizarro

2007-10-24T09:39:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I had just driven out of my neighborhood to get to the metro station. I stopped at the first stoplight by my house, and what I saw made me literally jump. I saw a Honda Civic, same year and color as mine, with a license plate that was just two number off from my own. In my head I thought, who is driving my car? Then I jumped when I realized that it was ME driving my car, but that someone else ahead of me had the exact same car with a VERY similar license plate. I felt like I was transported to another time and place.

Okay, I'm exaggerating just a little bit about that, but isn't that a really weird coincidence? I also think the person driving the car lives in my neighborhood. FREAKY. Just in time for Halloween.

Which, by the way, should be kick-ass. My new office makes it mandatory to dress up for Halloween, so I'm going as Mrs. Mia Wallace. I will post pictures after the holiday.

Kudos to Me

2007-10-19T12:25:00.000-07:00

I am proud of myself. I remembered four people's birthdays this week. That's a lot of birthdays to know in one week! I'd like to give a special shout out to my girl Amy who is celebrating her 31st today.

Welcome to 31. It's good times.

You Know What I Never Understood? Menudo

2007-10-16T14:39:00.000-07:00

So apparently MTV is bringing back Menudo in a 'big' way. From what I'm gathering, they're putting together a special 'Making the Band' type of situation just to form a new group of Menudo boys.

Okay, I never got Menudo. Sure, they were in all of the Tiger Beat issues that I collected as a young pup, but I never really got their appeal. I didn't ever think any of them were remotely attractive in the same way I thought, say, Rob Lowe and John Stamos were. I never heard any of their songs on my radio stations. And they kept changing! Once one of those boys turned a certain age, they were booted from the group. I never understood that. If you make music together, you make music together. You don't kick someone out of your group because they reach puberty.

So, please tell me if any of you listened to Menudo, loved Menudo, can explain Menudo to me...because I DON'T GET IT.

One For the Books

2007-10-07T16:35:00.000-07:00

Saturday I went up to New York City with my mother-in-law (MIL) and my two sisters-in-law (SIL) for my MIL's 60th birthday. My father-in-law (FIL) sent us up there on the bus. He originally told us that he was going to book a show for us to see, but that never happened. So the three daughters-in-law (DIL) had to come up with a plan.

The plan was a good one. We started by going down to Ground Zero, at MIL's request. It was a laugh a minute down there. After about ten minutes we'd had enough, and we made our way to Chinatown for some serious knockoff shopping. As MIL would cleverly say, we "shopped till we dropped."

We each got purses in the shady back rooms of the stalls; some of us left with more purses than others. I got three. And a pair of knockoff Tiffany earrings. Sweet!

After that we were starving, but we had reservations for tea at 2 p.m. Unfortunately for us, it was only about noon. So off we went in search for food, and ended up taking a cab to the area where we were having tea - Gramercy Park. We found a sushi place and decided that was a good bet since we could just get some rolls to tide us over. Good plan. Two minutes after we left the sushi joint, we had to be at tea. The tea place, Lady Mendl's, was so cute! I would definitely recommend it.

We left tea and headed toward Union Sqaure. As we passed a bistro , I thought I saw a celebrity sitting on the end of the bench where people were waiting for their tables. It was Tom Everett Scott!! Nice. He's hot.

The rest of the day was spent putzing around downtown. Let's fast forward to the bus ride home. We're watching the horribly depressing movie (all charter bus rides to and from New York include a movie on the ride home) "Away From Her," which is about Alzheimer's. MIL's phone rings. It's FIL. He asks her how her day was, and then proceeds to tell her that an 80-year-old woman lost control of her car in the parking lot where we were keeping our cars for the day...she plowed into my one SIL's car twice, then hit my mother-in-law's car, and then hit another car (not mine). My MIL's car had to be towed away!! Long story short, FIL had MIL's mother's car waiting for her so she could drive home.

Next thing, MIL calls her parents to thank them for letting her use their car. Her father answers and says, "Oh so you heard," to which MIL replies, "Yeah, my car." He then tells her that her mother is in the hospital...she had been having chest pains! Don't worry - she's got a hernia and it was acting up, but she's still in the hospital for more tests.

So, MIL was all in a tizzy by the time we got back to our cars. I hightailed it back to my own car and got out of there right quick. All's well that ends well, and we all had a rockin' good time. Maybe next time we go to New York in OCTOBER the weather won't be 90 freaking degrees!

Weird Childhood Behavior

2007-10-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

I don't know what made me think of this, but my mind goes in weird directions pretty often, so I'm not surprised.

When I was in kindergarden, my teacher, Miss Belk, had this activity where she'd offer individual students the opportunity to ask her the meaning of a word, and then from the definition, that student would create a painting to personify it. It was kind of a cute idea, and most of my classmates asked about words like 'dog' and 'cat'. Probably not because they needed to know what the word 'dog' or 'cat' meant, but because they knew how to paint a really good dog or cat and wanted to have some beautiful art to take home for Mommy and Daddy to fawn over.

So one day it was my turn to ask Miss Belk about the meaning of a word. I thought really long and hard about it. Probably a full three minutes. Then I asked her to explain the definition of 'committee.' I will never forget how surprised Miss Belk looked when I told her that. As a five-year-old, I don't know where I had heard that word, or why I was interested in that word in particular. But I do remember her explaining it to me, and afterwards, I painted a large picture of a bunch of people's heads.

I am such a weirdo.

Bigger Matzoh Balls - Not Always Better

2007-09-14T14:32:00.000-07:00

So for Rosh Hashanah, we went to one place one night and another place the second night. You pretty much always know what you're getting for Rosh Hashanah dinner and it usually involves turkey and stringbeans in one form or another.

And gefilte fish and chopped liver. And matzoh ball soup. Yum-o.

I'm going to be diplomatic here.

The first night, we had matzoh ball soup in which the balls weren't so big, but they were full of flavor and light and fluffly.

The second night, we had more matzoh ball soup at our second location. The balls were bigger, but more dense and dry inside. And lacking that matzoh ball flavor I have come to love.

I was disappointed. But at least there was Carvel ice cream cake for dessert the second night.

Sometimes I'm Shy

2007-09-11T15:13:00.000-07:00

So I attended my first all-staff meeting at my new company. The one from last month was canceled. I can't believe I've been here two months already.

I was so nervous because I hate being singled out in front of big groups of people and I just knew my boss was going to say something about me being new. Thankfully a guy just started today, so I knew I wouldn't be the only one.

So the new guy's boss got a chance to introduce him first, and the president of the company said that he wouldn't make the guy do an interpretive dance in front of everyone since it was only his first day.

Cue my boss, who then introduces me, and says that I've been here long enough to actually do an interpretive dance. I was so embarrassed.

No, I didn't do the dance. I'm lame.

You Know What's Awesome? Spinach and Feta Cakes

2007-09-10T08:59:00.000-07:00

Oh. My. Gah.

On the advice of my sister-in-law T, I went to this new spot by my house, The Gourmet Girls. This little gem is tucked away in an industrial park and might go unnoticed save for the billions of signs in the area pointing toward it. Those Gourmet Girls really know how to advertise.

And I mean to tell you, their food is fabulous. T has been there a few times, since my nephew's day care is across the street. She said she has never had a bad thing from there. And being that T is an incredible cook and well-read in all things food, I tended to believe her.

So off I went on Saturday. It seems like their prepared foods case changes daily, as the dishes T described to me weren't there. I grabbed some ziti, chicken fingers, and one of the aforementioned spinach and feta cakes.

The chicken fingers were for my husband, so I didn't get to try any of them but he said they were good. The ziti, in a homemade tomato sauce with meat, was fantastic.

But that spinach and feta cake...I can't stop thinking about it. About the size of a good-size crab cake, the spinach and feta cake was filled with, you guessed it, spinach and feta. And some onion for flavor. And pepper. I heated that bad boy up and inhaled the thing.

I only hope next time I go back they're there.

As an aside, the shop has reasonably priced food and a huge menu of sandwiches, two of which T has tried and proclaimed awesome. So there you go. I've given my props for the day. Whew.

This One's For You, Radish

2007-09-06T11:49:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah. I haven't been updating my blog. Blah blah.

The truth is that I think about it all the time and yet I feel like I have nothing interesting to say.

Even though I'm very interesting. Or so I think.

My new job is going well. I feel like I actually know what I'm doing. You know how sometimes you start a job and you have to fake it a lot of the time until you actually get the hang of things? Not the case here. It's a good feeling!

I'm going to leave you with this for now, but I promise to be better about updating. It's hard to do when I get home from work since it's pretty late. I vow to you, my readers, that I will update during the day from now on.

I'm giving a shout-out to my sister, who is going on her honeymoon this weekend!! She's taking a cruise, leaving from Baltimore, up north. It sounds fabulous and I'm sure she and Dave will have a great time. Word.

The Garbageman Always Dumps Twice

2007-08-02T16:44:00.000-07:00

So trash day in our neighborhood is Tuesday. We go through phases where we forget to put the trashcans on the curb, and we have to wait a whole week. This usually sucks because we tend to fill the cans pretty quickly and sometimes we have to sit on the damn lids to make them stay shut.

But we also go through phases where we're very conscientious about taking the trash to the curb, so we only have to put one of our three cans up there. Keep in mind our driveway is long and steep, and this is quite the chore.

For some reason, the moment we moved into the house - well I should say the moment Brian moved in and I slowly moved my shit in - the garbagemen have had a thing against us. We can't figure it out. There have been times where they haven't taken all of our trash, and there have been times when they will throw our cans in opposite directions so we have to run through the bushes to gather them all. I even had to go so far as to call the trash supervisor in the county to ask why the guys wouldn't take our recycling - he didn't have a clue and ended up coming around and taking it himself.

This past Tuesday was no exception. I heard the guys' truck pretty early that morning, and didn't think anything of it. I left the house as usual to get in my car and go to work. Doo doo doo, drive up the driveway, la la la.

I'm driving, driving, driving backwards up my steep driveway...when all of a sudden I have to slam on my brakes. There, at the top of the hill, smack dab in the middle of my driving path, is the lone trashcan we set atop the curb for pickup. Sure, the trash was all gone, but dammit, why did they put it in the middle of the driveway? Is this a joke they play on some poor family on every street they drive down? And we only had one can up there! We felt like we were doing them a favor by giving them less work to do at our house.

As I drove down my street, after getting out of the car to throw the can out of my way, I noticed that all the other houses' trashcans were set neatly next to the driveways. Ours was the only one that seemed to be defiantly placed in the center of the driveway. I cannot, cannot, cannot figure out what we did to offend these guys.

I'm thinking we need to get them some beer this year for the holidays. Because there' s nothing like a little drinking and trash truck driving.

I'm Baaaaack

2007-07-21T21:39:00.000-07:00

And I have an important question.

I graduated college in 1998. You know, a time before cell phones were really mainstream.

So how the FUCK did booty calls work back then??

Now This Is Just Obscene

2007-07-02T11:42:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love listening to the Top 40 countdown on Sunday mornings. I don't care if I seem too old to still be doing that. Listening to Casey Kasem - and now cheesehead Ryan Seacrest - count down the top 40 biggest hits from coast to coast every Sunday morning is like THE ultimate vanilla pudding for my soul.

So I was innocently listening to the countdown yesterday morning while getting ready to leave my house. One of those stupid Axe commercials came on. Now, I have never smelled anyone who has worn the stuff, but if you believe the commercials, the scent will make any woman within 100 miles want to rub their vagina all over the man who has sprayed the deodorant (is that what it is?) on.

That's cool, I guess. If you're out in the dating scene, it probably can't hurt, right?

So the commercial is talking about how Axe will make men want to grunt or something, and women want to get shocked. Uh, come again? Shocked? Last time I checked, a woman who got shocked had a finger stuck up her butt during a certain something something. I normally don't talk like this because I am a lady, but I've heard it referred to as 'two in the pink and one in the stink.'

If that offends anyone, that's your problem.

I couldn't believe my ears. This was on Sunday morning radio. I have half a mind to write to these Axe promotors and give them a piece of my mind. Because that is just brilliant fucking marketing.

Too Much Goodbye

2007-06-29T09:33:00.001-07:00

I'm not big on goodbyes. I like my friend Shana's rule. If you're at a big party or a wedding or something and you have to leave before the end, don't say goodbye, just leave. As in, don't disrupt everyone and make them stop doing what they're doing, just make a quick exit. I don't know - I like it.

So now that my time here at my job is winding down, I feel sad to be saying goodbye to everyone. I know, I complained about having no friends here, but when you work with people for so long, you become used to them. Oh, what am I saying, there are people here I'm going to miss. But saying goodbye - ugh. I hate it.

And where do you draw the line? For instance, I see the same guys who work in the cafeteria every day. Do I tell them I'm leaving? I mean, it makes me sad to think about. It's just another person I have to say goodbye to and as I said before, I'm just not big on goodbyes.

I'm just rambling. This is not a fun post. Sorry.

Battle Royal

2007-06-26T06:55:00.000-07:00

We live in the woods. And it is just a fact that if you live in the woods, you will have bugs and critters around that you probably never knew existed if you lived in, say, a 3rd floor walkup. Then you'd have roaches.

So I'm used to finding spiders on the windows and seeing tons of deer and fox in my backyard. I wasn't even too surprised when my husband yelled in from the garage one day that I had to be quiet so that he could corner the mole he found in there. You have not lived until you've seen a mole in your house. They've got those creepy-looking white glove hands. I felt like maybe I should dress it up in a little top hat and tux and do a rendition of "Hello My Baby" with it.

But I will never get used to what I found in my bathtub this morning as I turned on the water to take a shower. See, I didn't have my glasses on, so it was a little blurry at first. I thought maybe a little hairball had formed, as hairballs often do in my shower. But no. I only wish it was a hairball.

Instead, it was a disgusting, giant, hairy monster thousand-leg bugs. Those assholes need their own island where they can scare the living shit out of one another and leave the rest of us alone. Holy crap!! I turned the water all the way to hot and started splashing that sucker so that he would move toward the drain. No such luck - at least not at first.

I contemplated skipping my shower today. But then I remembered that I didn't shower yesterday (NO, I'm not that much of a dirtball - I showered the night before last).

It took a good five minutes of me splashing and him scurrying toward the edge of the tub to finally drown him. And then I still wasn't sure he was dead. I think he was swimming actually. Somehow, though, he finally made his way to the drain, but my drain has tiny holes to let the water down. This fat-ass motherfucking shithead wasn't going to fit. Ugh. I watched his body swirl around and around in the water, hoping that the force of it would break him into tiny pieces so that he'd just slide down the drain, one leg at a time. That didn't happen. But shit, I really needed to get a move on! After all, today was also a shaving day.

But finally, when I was sure he was good and dead, I gathered about ten paper towels and my courage, picked him up and threw him away.

No wonder I'm exhausted and it's only 10 a.m. I hate being traumatized first thing in the morning.

Aaaaahhhh...

2007-06-25T11:34:00.001-07:00

No, that wasn't me farting.

Well, maybe...

This is how my weekend went:

Eat, pool, eat, pool, eat, eat, eat

I went to the pool twice in one weekend, which might be some kind of record for me. I have to thank my friend Mike at work (not that he reads this - and yes, I made a friend at work during MY LAST TWO WEEKS HERE) for giving me the pool pass that his sister wasn't using. It's a long story.

Okay, here it is. I was woe-is-me-ing about the fact that I have no pool to go to during the summers. Mike responded that his mother has tons of pool passes and he'd ask if I could have one. Her pool is pretty close to my house. Mike disappears from my cube, only to return 10 minutes later with great news. Apparently his mother and sister aren't speaking, so his mom gave me her daughter's pass. Woot! I mean, sorry for your troubles...

I also have to give a shout-out to Mandi, who introduced me to the scene that is the Merritt Athletic Club Federal Hill. Also, thank you Mandi for recommending the cherries at Wegman's. They are indeed fabulous.

I know this is a random blog, but I really have to discuss how much I love Seth Rogan. You know, the male lead in the new comedic hit 'Knocked Up.' I have loved Seth Rogan since 'Freaks and Geeks' all those years ago. While everyone else was sweating the tall doofy guy (Jason Segal) that Linda Cardellini's character had a thing with, I was sweating Seth Rogan. I don't know - there's just something about him.

It's sort of like my obsession with Topher Grace. While everyone was falling all over themselves over Ashton Kutcher when 'That 70s Show' came out, I had a huge crush on skinny, gangly Topher Grace. And now look at him. Still skinny, but super hot. Tell me you don't agree, and I'll kick your ass.

The previous two paragraphs just prove that I have no 'type,' at least physically. And that I am ahead of my time.

I've got a whole blog planned about how relaxed I am feeling lately. Unfortunately, I have to book it to a meeting. Wait, why do I even care anymore? I'm such a dork.

Wooooooooo

2007-06-21T07:43:00.000-07:00

I know I have been MIA all week as far as posting goes. I have been a super nervous wreck. But now I'm much better. Why? Because.....

I got a new job!!! Woooooo! More details to follow. My last day at work is July 5th and I start my new job July 12th.

I could not be more excited.

That is all.

No, Really, I'm 31

2007-06-15T10:44:00.000-07:00

How embarrassing is this scenario:

I was just on the phone with my dad. I'm sitting in my cube, which is not made for private conversations. Not that I was having a real private conversation, you understand, but I'm just pointing out that anyone can listen in to what I'm saying.

So I said to my dad, "When I talked to Mommy..."

I don't need to finish the sentence.

The point is that I referred to my mother as "Mommy" loud enough for my coworkers to hear. And I am so sure they did.