I'm Baaaaack

And I have an important question.

I graduated college in 1998. You know, a time before cell phones were really mainstream.

So how the FUCK did booty calls work back then??

Now This Is Just Obscene

I absolutely love listening to the Top 40 countdown on Sunday mornings. I don't care if I seem too old to still be doing that. Listening to Casey Kasem - and now cheesehead Ryan Seacrest - count down the top 40 biggest hits from coast to coast every Sunday morning is like THE ultimate vanilla pudding for my soul.

So I was innocently listening to the countdown yesterday morning while getting ready to leave my house. One of those stupid Axe commercials came on. Now, I have never smelled anyone who has worn the stuff, but if you believe the commercials, the scent will make any woman within 100 miles want to rub their vagina all over the man who has sprayed the deodorant (is that what it is?) on.

That's cool, I guess. If you're out in the dating scene, it probably can't hurt, right?

So the commercial is talking about how Axe will make men want to grunt or something, and women want to get shocked. Uh, come again? Shocked? Last time I checked, a woman who got shocked had a finger stuck up her butt during a certain something something. I normally don't talk like this because I am a lady, but I've heard it referred to as 'two in the pink and one in the stink.'

If that offends anyone, that's your problem.

I couldn't believe my ears. This was on Sunday morning radio. I have half a mind to write to these Axe promotors and give them a piece of my mind. Because that is just brilliant fucking marketing.