This Is What Happens When Mommy Isn't Home During The Day

Brian and Tucker like to mess with me while I'm at work. I'm always so jealous when I leave the house in the morning and they're still in their PJs, hanging out. So this is the (blurry) picture I get from them this afternoon...Apparently my baby is now a hillbilly.

Memory Candles, Best Friend Poems and Pink Balloons

Those are the things that I remember most about my bat mitzvah...that was 20 years ago today! I wish I could say that it was more meaningful than just the big party that took place after I stood on the bimah and sang (in Hebrew, no less) in front of 200 of my closest friends and family. But I honestly was just excited about having a big party.

It wasn't a super-fancy affair. I had a luncheon after my service, complete with a band, a huge display of pink and white balloons at the front of the room, and little pads of pink paper made to look like dollar bills with my face stamped on each one as favors. Not cute.

I remember the party being really fun, and I remember that everyone loved my dress, which in retrospect was definitely more of a "night party" dress than a luncheon dress. But no matter. The important thing is that I got to party with my friends for the day, collect a lot of checks and get my very first period that night.

Yep. I became a woman that day in more ways than one.

And I bet you're thinking that I did something stupid with all the cash I got that day. Nope. I saved most of it, but spent some on a big TV and VCR for my room. So that I could record Young and the Restless and Days of Our Lives. True story.

Inspiration

I told Amy that I would be writing a blog entry about inspiration...like two weeks ago. And then stupid Steven Speilberg made that the theme of his acceptance speech of his lifetime achievement Cecil B. DeMille whatever-it's-called award last night at the Golden Globes. And now everyone will just think I'm copying him. But I'm not. Amy, can you vouch for me? Thanks.

So...2009. We can talk all day about how it's the year we have to remember to mind our finances because the economy's in the shitter, and it's the historical year that we will see an African American man become President of the United States of America. And those are really important things.

But I'm going to talk about how 2009, at least for me, is going to be the year for inspiration. I'm going to look at what inspires me to do things, whatever those things are, and I'm actually going to do them. I am feeling alternately very motivated to create and too tired to create them. I have a lot that I want to achieve, and I feel like I want to make good on those promises to myself.

Last year, 2008, was an incredible year. I had a beautiful baby boy who amazes me every day. And I want him to be proud of me. I want him to look at me as an inspiration to do the things he wants to do. I know this might all seem kind of scatterbrained and arbitrary, but I know what I mean. For some reason I'm having trouble articulating it. Maybe when I start actually creating, I will be able to convey what I mean if I'm not coming off as making any sense.

My husband inspires me to think outside the box every day. He is constantly thinking up new things to do or perform or build. It's really amazing - his mind never stops. Sometimes I might seem annoyed because he's CONSTANTLY talking about new things - but I think mostly I'm just jealous that he is so creative and I don't think I can keep up sometimes. I want to be as creative as he is.

I've been lucky enough to meet a group of women, mothers specifically, who have inspired me to try things that I've been scared to try because of fear of failure. I'm gonna try. Because I'm inspired to.

Inspired to what, you might ask? I want to be better at the things I know. I have always been one of those people who knows a little about a lot of things. I want to know a lot about a lot of things. Like I can cook, but I'm not exceptional. I can knit, but I want to do things besides scarves and the like. I can write, but I haven't practiced my craft enough to really wow anyone. There are a million examples like this.

So 2009, here you are. A clean slate for me to fill with my creations, whatever they may be. Stay tuned.