Seriously?

Okay, let me break it down for you. I just put Tucker down for a nap. Finally I was able to take a moment to read a magazine on the toilet (hey, I'm learning to multitask these days...). It was great! I haven't read a magazine in weeks, and I have a ton of them to catch up on.

So I'm reading all about skin care products in May's Real Simple (keep in mind I have June's issue to get through, too) when the phone rings. Dammit! I always like to get the phone just in case...So I jump up off the toilet (I had already wiped) and pick up the phone. "Hello?... Hello?" You readers know that when you have to say hello more than once, you're usually in trouble. It usually means that it's some sort of telemarketer or pre-recorded message waiting for you on the other end of the line.

I was in trouble. A pre-recorded message finally began, and it was, of all people, The Miz!! You know, Mike from the Real World Back to New York who dated Trishelle, participated on all of those Real World/Road Rules challenges and decided to become a professional wrestler? He was calling to remind me to order the WWE fights that are happening this weekend.

Now, I am a starfucker of the highest order. I am obsessed with celebrities big and small. Hell, I had a small nervous breakdown when I thought I saw Samuel L. Jackson on the street in New York. It turns out that I DID actually see him. In front of Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. Ask Brian how much I freaked out before I realized he was made of wax.

But my point is, normally I would be tickled to hear The Miz on the other end of my phone. Just not when I have to jump off the toilet to do it.