Bluetooth Makes Freaks Look Normal - and Vice Versa

I feel bad even writing this, but I feel like I have to get it off my chest.

People who talk to themselves scare me. There, I said it. If that makes me a bad person, get over it.

I was walking from my car into the mall today when I noticed a shady looking guy on the sidewalk not too far from the entrace to Macy's. He was tall, sort of bent over, wearing a hat that he probably won from a radio station. It was bright yellow, so you can see why I drew that conclusion. His clothes were mismatched, and he was smoking a cigarette. Oh, and I forgot to mention he looked to be in his 40s. Because clearly the fact that he's in his 40s was the shadiest part of him.

And he was talking. In sort of a Karl Childers-from-Slingblade kind of voice. I literally jumped - and I was probably about 50 feet away from him. I thought maybe he was talking to me, and my gut reaction to walk quickly in the other direction without making eye contact kicked right in. I looked back - only to see something silver hooked to his creepy, hairy ear. And I realized he was talking on the phone.

I looked back again. The hat wasn't bright yellow, it was a beautiful golden color. He was dressed really fashionably and what I thought was a cigarette was actually a pen. And maybe he was 30. Maybe.

Here's my point. I discriminated against this poor guy because I thought he was talking to himself and therefore labeled him 'shady.' And I'm sorry for that. But the fact of the matter is, I don't care how mainstream Bluetooth becomes, you will come off looking like a freak if people think you're talking to yourself. It's not cool. Hold the cell phone in your hand, talk about your yeast infection and hold up lines at Target because you can't juggle the phone and your wallet at the same time. You know, like a normal person.