Thursday, March 29, 2007

My Backyard Rocks

Yesterday when I got home from work, Brian was working in the front yard. There was this huge patch (15 feet by 30 feet) of weeds that he took down in the fall and we don't want things to keep growing back, so we're going to put crushed rock there. The weeds were literally taller than I am. Not that that's saying much, but still. They had leaves that were bigger than my big head.

Anyway, I didn't really want to hang out and watch Brian dig in the dirt, and he was tired anyway. So he made a fire in our fire pit out back and roasted marshmallows and drank beer. It's been awhile since I've had a drink and I was buzzed after the first bottle. It was so relaxing and I have to say that I haven't really relaxed in a good long while. Our backyard is big and woodsy enough that sometimes you forget you're in a backyard - you could just be somewhere in the woods. Last night made me grateful that we have it.

After one beer, I was hungry and the marshmallows weren't cutting it. So I went in and made dinner while still buzzed. I have to say it was some of the best food I've made in awhile. I should cook drunk more often.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

MTV Has Reached An All-Time Low - And I LOVE It!!

After my favorite show The Hills last night, I decided to catch MTV's latest brilliant offering, The X Factor. Basically, it involves two people who used to date, their current significant others and a really nice beach resort. The exes arrive with their current loves and are promptly taken to luxury accomodations where they will spend the weekend - minus their significant others. So the exes are essentially stuck together for the whole weekend in this nice romantic setting. Sounds innocent enough, right?

Meanwhile, the significant others are put up in a shitty bungalow and are forced to spy on their boyfriend/girlfriend to see if they remain faithful. It's awesome. The exes are all awkward around each other at first, but by the second night, they've forgotten all about being awkward as they tongue each other in the hot tub. Oh, those sneaky MTV producers!!!

The significant others of the exes watch the entire display. After the weekend is over, they confront their boyfriend/girlfriend, give them two tiles with an X on one and an O on the other, and tell them to choose who they want to be with. In this particular episode, the exes end up back together.

It's pretty confusing, I know. I'd definitely watch it again, though. Too bad my favorite show The Hills season finale and reunion show is on in its time slot next week.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Bluetooth Makes Freaks Look Normal - and Vice Versa

I feel bad even writing this, but I feel like I have to get it off my chest.

People who talk to themselves scare me. There, I said it. If that makes me a bad person, get over it.

I was walking from my car into the mall today when I noticed a shady looking guy on the sidewalk not too far from the entrace to Macy's. He was tall, sort of bent over, wearing a hat that he probably won from a radio station. It was bright yellow, so you can see why I drew that conclusion. His clothes were mismatched, and he was smoking a cigarette. Oh, and I forgot to mention he looked to be in his 40s. Because clearly the fact that he's in his 40s was the shadiest part of him.

And he was talking. In sort of a Karl Childers-from-Slingblade kind of voice. I literally jumped - and I was probably about 50 feet away from him. I thought maybe he was talking to me, and my gut reaction to walk quickly in the other direction without making eye contact kicked right in. I looked back - only to see something silver hooked to his creepy, hairy ear. And I realized he was talking on the phone.

I looked back again. The hat wasn't bright yellow, it was a beautiful golden color. He was dressed really fashionably and what I thought was a cigarette was actually a pen. And maybe he was 30. Maybe.

Here's my point. I discriminated against this poor guy because I thought he was talking to himself and therefore labeled him 'shady.' And I'm sorry for that. But the fact of the matter is, I don't care how mainstream Bluetooth becomes, you will come off looking like a freak if people think you're talking to yourself. It's not cool. Hold the cell phone in your hand, talk about your yeast infection and hold up lines at Target because you can't juggle the phone and your wallet at the same time. You know, like a normal person.

Don't Get Rear-Ended

I got rear-ended last week. It sucked. Mostly it sucked because I was on my way to lunch at the time, and I was hungry! But seriously, the guy rammed right into me while I was at a dead stop. He didn't even apologize.

Since then, I learned that he did over $2,000 worth of damage to my car. That was fine, because a day after the accident, I didn't feel any pain. The day after that, I didn't feel any pain either. I thought I was in the clear. Well, the day after THAT, my neck began to hurt. And so the fun of whiplash has arrived. I thought I could tough it out. I was wrong. This shit hurts! Although it doesn't disrupt my sleep, so I'm thankful for that.

Today I couldn't hold out any longer- I called the doctor. I knew I was bad because I couldn't bend my neck forward to dry my hair. My doctor wasn't around, so I saw the practice's nurse practitioner who actually made me cry. She was mean and yelled at me for stopping to say hello to someone I knew in the waiting room. I cried while the nurse took my blood pressure and I cried as I described the situation to the nurse practitioner. I think she felt bad because she handed me tissues and tried to make me laugh. I didn't.

Long story short, I need physical therapy. I refused the pain meds, and I can ice my neck. Big fun.

Bit My Cheek

Yesterday I was in the cafeteria at work, getting some breakfast. This rather flamboyant man was standing in the grill line, with his female friend. The Phil Collins song, "Invisible Touch" was blaring on the boom box the cafeteria workers play to keep themselves from wanting to poke their eyes out with the plastic forks.

So Flamboyant Guy starts snapping his fingers and says to his friend, "Hey, wasn't this your prom song?" He starts singing the song and dancing in front of her face, kind of Carlton-style. His friend just kept saying, "Shut up, shut up."

Why no one else seemed to notice this, I have no idea. But I kept having to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. There is nothing worse than being by yourself and laughing for what looks to be no reason at all. So embarrassing.

Why Do Sunday Nights Suck So Bad?

For as long as I can remember, I have had the dreaded 'Sunday night feeling'. It's anxiety for the upcoming week. It's mourning the weekend just past. And I just wish it would go away.

Sunday is a perfectly good day. But come about 7 p.m., the feeling just creeps up and no matter what I'm doing, I can't make it stop. I get so depressed about the fact that the weekend is over so quickly, and I wish I would have gotten to do more with my free time.

The thing is, Sunday night isn't so bad on paper. Brian and I usually eat dinner with his family or sometimes mine. The TV's pretty good that night. I just wish I could get rid of the feeling that I have to go through a whole week before I get to the weekend again.

Once Monday afternoon rolls around, I'm fine. But why can't I snap out of my depression for those 17 hours?