When Accordians Attack

I was out with my sister and my friend Erin over the weekend. Admittedly, I was a bit tipsy, but the three of us saw the exact same thing that I'm about the describe. Well, they were tipsy too, but whatever.

This young woman, most likely in her early 20s, walked by us. She was wearing a halter top that was pleated. I looked for a photo to post along with this blog so I could further illustrate my point. But just know that this halter top was silk and was completely pleated. And it had bright flowers all over it, which is to say that it had a flowery print.

She had these ginormous boobs under that halter top, and there was no mistaking the fact that she had no bra on. Those puppies were flopping. It was a little unsettling to see.

But those breasts of hers were swinging back and forth in opposite directions. Like if one was swinging right, the other was swinging left. Then they'd swing in the opposite direction, coming together to meet in the middle.

Because of the pleats in her top and because of the direction in which her boobies were flying, it looked like she was an accordian. A blonde, tan, promiscuous, flowery accordian.

(I made up the part about the promiscuity. I don't actually know that for a fact.)